Chapter 6: Growing Worse
I'm back in my uniform again, and I'm nearly halfway in the month of August. I was hanging out in the up-stairs hallway of the dorm, thinking about my plans for the day. I slipped on my headphones and started listening to the "Del Vikings- Come and Go With Me". Down the stairs and the doors, there were no other girls in sight. I didn't really care for them, though. I looked ahead of me and saw that there were no Bullies this time. A spring of surprise kept me standing there. I squinted to see if they weren't there, and still they weren't there. I strolled, only to see some kids in those green sweater vests. They looked glum looking, as if they were waiting for a punishment. All seemed neutral until I was pushed from behind, making me jolt forward. I turned to see a chubby kid with short red hair, round glasses, a green sweater vest, and jean shorts with the fly unzipped. Being a little irritated, I gave him a nasty look. He stared me down with his pudgy freckled face. I stopped and turned to him.
I saw him move his lips, trying to say something to me, but it's not like I could hear him due to the fact I was listening to my music in the headphones. I put my hands to the headphones to take them off and have a talk with this guy, but then I decided not to and held onto my binder tighter. I sat on the steps near the entrance to watch the view in front of me. Christy came out, accompanied by the girl with black braids was babbling about something. The song "Teenage Love- by Frankie Lymon and The Teenagers" came on as a chubby looking girl with short cut brown hair waddled along. I turned off my mp3 player and scrunched my headphones around my neck. I listened carefully with my ears, eavesdropping on some conversations. The chubby girl walked up to a boy in a dark green sweater with nicely-brush light brown hair. He was a bit lean looking. The boy yawned and said to the girl, "It would be awesome if there were a French girl that transferred to the school." The girl looked over to the side. Not long did it take for girl to answer back apathetically, "Oh, I don't know...French just isn't my thing. But I did hear that they have good food!"
"O...k then..." I quietly said to myself, being a bit weirded out. I moved over to a little boy in a dark green sweater vest, shorts, and red Converse shoes. The boy was short and scrawny looking, having dark hair and pale skin. He was standing by himself with his hands shoved in his pockets, shoveling his feet around. He looked so lonely that I wanted to talk to him. I really don't like little kids, but I felt urged to say something. I stood up steadily and walked over to the boy. With my heart pulsating as I stood in front of him, I managed to slip out in a squeeky voice, "Hi." The boy lifted up his head and stared with dark, baggy eyes. I pursed my lips and stood still, afraid of what his reaction might be. "Who are you?" He asked in a quavering tone. "I'm new here..." I answered in a low, queer voice. The boy backed away slowly and said, "Just leave me alone! I don't wanna be bothered!" "What? What's wrong?!" I spoke to him. The boy backed further away from me and began to panic. "I'm serious just stop! Go away and leave me alone!" He cried.
I noticed that he was facing away from me. "Huh?" I was quiet confused. Was he talking to me or someone-- "Ha ha! Cry to your mommy Wimp-Face!" I flinched and saw Russell talking to him. "Hey!" I yelled at Russell. "I was talking to him!" "Pay up your Russell tax or suffer!" He demanded to the little boy. "Hello! I'm talking to you!" I shouted at him. Russell ignored me while the boy took out some paper money from his pocket. I hate it when someone doesn't pay attention to me, and the only way to get their notice, is if you say something that give them a "knock on the door". "HEY! ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB OR SOMETHING?!" I yelled as hard as I could to get Russell's attention. Too late, the little boy handed him the money. Russell didn't seem to care that I was there. So much with trying to be nice to someone. I sat back down on the steps. Listening to Chuck Berry sing his song "Maybellene" on the headphones, I watched three other Bullies join Russell. Why should I care, though? It's not like I'm the victim. I looked up at the sky. I could tell it was almost time to go. I turned off my mp3 player and waited for the bell to ring. Not long did it ring. I walked to my locker feeling a little bit down.
This usually happens all the time, so it's normal for me to feel this way. I stored away my headphones and mp3 player, getting ready for class. Russell came down the hall, but I turned away from him and went straight to class. I stepped into English and sat at my desk. As soon as everyone else arrived, Mr.Galloway gave us instructions for the day. "Good morning class! Please take out your homework." I placed the three sheets of my written essay on "My First Day of School" at the right hand corner of my desk. I then looked up to the chalk board and saw that we were suppose to do our daily word scramble. I as I tried to find the 20th word for my scramble, something soft hit my head, followed with some sneering from around me. I turned to see one of the boys scolding their friend,"You missed, idiot!" I went back to work, but then I was interrupted when someone from the side of me handed me a small, folded piece of paper. "Read it!" They whispered. I unfolded the note under my desk and read in sloppy hand-writing that was hard to understand ,"Do you like me?" After I read the message, I sat still for a few seconds with a face that could kill a person, almost no emotion at all. I looked around the room and then wrote down under the desk, "I don't know you! How the hell could I like you?" I folded up the note, dropped it to the floor and pushed it to the side with my foot.
Later we were learning about forms of Poetry. "For an example: Lyrics to a song. Writing a song is a form of Poetry." Mr.Galloway stated. "Some of the most famous poets you may have heard of such as Edgar Allan Poe, Shel Silverstein, and Emily Dickinson...and others more. I'm sure many of you have heard of "The Raven". Anyone heard of "The Raven"?" A couple of students raised their hands. "So...it looks like some of you have. Today's assignment is to write a poem of your own, as practice in creativity. It can be any form you choose." He announced. I thought for a moment and then decided to do a haiku. I wrote down ,"leaves of the autumn, dancing upon the chilled winds, breezes blowing far." That was easy to me. "Hey!" I heard a whispering voice. I looked and saw a kid pass me a note. I looked at him and he said, "Read it." I unfolded the note beneath my desk, trying to make out the note. "This is Tom." Cold sweats swept my body. This "Tom" guy sounded like bad news. I took the note and ripped it in half. When the bell rang for lunch, everyone pushed their way out the door. I came out last, throwing the two pieces of paper into a trashcan.
I got to the row of lockers where Russell was standing nearby. I opened my locker to get out my voice recorder from the Ovilus session during the weekend. This time I going towards the school clothing store to get to the cafeteria. I didn't feel like getting into more trouble with Russell, so I went this way instead. I trudged along, making to the middle of the lunch line. As I stood, I heard laughing from behind me. I didn't want to look, but I did it anyway. I turned my head, seeing a couple Bullies. One of them being Russell. I faced forward with chattering teeth and pulled my ponytail over my shoulder. "Ha ha, stoopid girl ran away scared." Russell said behind me. The line moved up a couple spaces. As I moved up a couple steps, something grabbed me by the back and threw me at a nearby lunch table. The binder and voice recorder flew from my hands while I caught myself half across the top of a table. The Bullies along with the kids in line roared with laughter.
I lifted myself up and gathered the things I dropped to get back in line, but one of the Bullies blocked me and said, "Back of the line Walking Stick!" I had no choice but to be in the back. I looked down at the floor and shuffled past jeering students. "That girl looks like a stick in the mud!" "What a loser!" "Weirdo!" "That was the funniest thing ever!" I felt ashamed for ever picking this boarding school. I thought 7th grade was the worst, but this is hell! I felt my eyes swell, almost about to cry. I can't, though! I chose this school, so I must prepare for the worst. Even if it means getting pushed to the ground, punched in the stomach, or recieving threats of being beaten to death. Just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean that I should cry and fall to my knees, weak. I stood straight up, forced back the tears, and waited as the last one in line. Then I remembered that I didn't get a tray. No wonder I was pushed out of the line. I grabbed a red tray, holding my binder underneath. I got up to the kitchen opening and got a heap of Chicken Nuggets with Tater Tots.
I thanked the lunch-lady and went to go sit down in my place. I picked up a nugget and bit half of it off. I was listening to the recording. I could hear my voice going over. "Why are you worried?" Then the Ovilus was talking over too, but each time it paused, I could muttering in the background. I tried to listen as closely as I could, trying to make out what they were saying. I took out a piece of paper and wrote down what I heard. "Lokt her" I wrote down "Look at her." "I hate them!" I heard a clear voice come in. I wrote this down. This made me eat all of my chicken nuggets and finish about half of my tots. Every word I heard was either shocking, or interesting. It was something that made me wide-eyed or thinking. I turned off my recorder when I was done and layed it across the table. I returned my tray up to the opening with Russell shouting at me, "Walking Stick! Cry, Walking Stick!" I tightened my fists in burning anger. I sat back down to review what I wrote down. One was,"She's just like me." While another would be, "Want to be her friend."
Reading more of my information, I heard the table creak, but I was thinking that it was because of some kids leaning on the top, down at the other end. It's not like I care to even look, but then again, I don't know. I looked to the far end on the left and saw the seats empty. They probably left to go pick on someone. I looked away, facing my worst fear. Russell was standing up with my voice-recorder in one of his hands. "What's this do?" He looked at it curiously. "Hey!" I yelled at him. "Give it back!" I reached up to take it from him, but he kept it from me by raising high in the air. Russell narrowed his eyes and said, "No!" I jumped up at him and shouted, "Give it back! Now!" I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck, trying to get as close as I could to get it. "Ooooooooh! She like you!" I held onto Russell, turning to see the rest of the Bullies behind me. "Shut the fuck up!" I snapped at them. "Hey, look what I got!" One of them chimed with glee. They were holding my binder. I grew furious and barked at them, "Put that down! It's not yours! It's all mine!" I reached for my voice-recorder from Russell's right hand. "Give it to me!" I shrieked. Now!" I was at my wits end. "Say you love Russell!" He demanded. "No!" I shouted in his ear and flicked my hand to his face. I gave him a quick smack up side the head. Russell grabbed me by the back of my neck with a straining hand. He squeezed it so hard that I could feel my spine bones grinding against each other. The pain was making it hard for me to think.
"Give...It back!" I pawed the air for the voice-recorder. I could feel my arms getting heavy. It felt like I wanted to...take...a nap. The blood flow was getting cut off to my neck. "RUS-sel, just...stop!" I managed to yell and wiggled freely. I fell to the floor, with my legs numb. I landed, face flat to the ground. It took it a couple of seconds to regain feeling in my limbs. I pushed myself up and found the Bullies gone, and so were my binder, notes, and voice-recorder. "Where'd they go?" I stood dumb. I ran out of the cafeteria and into the lobby in worry. Where could they be? Then I heard laughing coming from the left. I took slow and steady steps to check out what it was. I turned the corner of the staircase and came to the hallway with lockers. Russell was there, with the Bullies around him. "What the heck is this?" The blonde was reading my paper. "I want to be your guys's friend, eh?" "Dude, I wanna see!" The Bully with auburn hair snatched it from him. "It's like a love letter!" He exclaimed. "What?!" The shorter Bully with brown hair turned to him. "Who's it to?" "Yer mom!" Replied the auburn haired Bully. The Bully with brown hair put him in a headlock saying, "Come on asswipe! You wanna go?" "Hey!" I came from around the corner. "Give my stuff back!"
The Bullies giggled. I noticed that my binder was gone. "Where the hell is my binder?!" I yelled at them. "Where is it?!!" "Tom has it!" The blonde answered with a smirk on his face. "Tom?!" I repeated, thinking about what happened in English. Tom was the one who wrote me the note in class. "Tom is up stairs." He snickered. "Can you go away, now?" "No!" I shouted at them. "Not until I have my god damn voice-recorder, binder and notes!" The Bullies all looked at each other. I looked over at Russell with the voice recorder in his left hand. I darted at him and grabbed his hand, but he kicked me to the ground. "What now, Walking Stick?!" He bent down and remarked to my face. I jumped up and attempted to get it from him again. Russell dangled the device in the air. I tried jumping off the ground to get it, but each time I'd do that, he'd pull it up higher. "Aaaaaaagh!" I said screamed in irritation and stamped my feet. Russell and the Bullies tried to contain their laughs