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Bullworth Academy's Psychiatrist

Because everyone's doing "Ask A OC" now, I decided to do something a little more original. So, I'm going to write myself as a Bullworth Psychiatrist, and talk with some of the students, teachers and prefects!

You can request who you think I should talk with next, but keep in mind, I might not do yours right away, because I have four more people planned, but haven't written them yet. So, please don't be annoyed, if I say yes to yours, but add someone else next, ok? Ok! Let's begin!

Appointment: 1:15pm - Gary Smith

I was sat in my office, pretending to check the student records on the computer, when I was really on Facebook chatting to friends. Why I accepted this job, I'll never know. They can give me whatever fancy title they like, I'm basically the school shrink. Teachers, students, prefects... who ever, they come in here, blab on about their problems, then leave. The teachers are as big a bunch of misfits as the kids. But, it's my job.


It would be a cushy deal, if I was paid well. But, at least I don't have someone breathing down my neck, watching me work every minute of the day. The blissful silence was broken, by the buzzing of the phone intercom thing.



"Ms Scarly, your 1:15 appointment is here to see you," the voice of Nina, my assistant told me.

"Thanks, Nina, send them in," I said, as I closed the browser window containing facebook on my computer.


I checked my appointments diary, ah Gary Smith. That boy had more problems, that I had "working" hours. The door opened, and the scared boy walked into the office, with out closing the door, he sat down on the seat opposite me. Nina had to close the door - well good, she did less work than I did.


"Gary, Gary... what is it this time?" I asked, slightly shaking my head at him.

"Nothing, I'm here for the complementary muffins," he replied, sarcastically, finishing with a scoff.

"One day, I'm going to make some muffins. We'll see just how sarcastic you are, when I make you eat them," I replied, side glancing at him.

"Ooo! I'm so scared.... the big bad shrink has threatened me!!!" he mocked, mockingly faking fear.

"You do realise, I can prescribe you more medication, don't you?" I reminded him.


He did not respond. I let the slightest smile appear on my lips, before I brought up his records on the computer.


"What did they send you in for this time?" I asked, side glancing at him.

"The usual," he replied, with a bored tone.

"You called your teacher moron. When asked to put your homework on their desk, told them to get of their lazy ass, and come get it. Questioned their sexuality and or in the case of a male teacher, called them a girl," I said, quoting what it usually is.

"No, I called him a incompetent moron," he replied with a smirk, then folding his arms across his chest.


I sighed, and typed it into the computer.


"Why did you do that?" I asked, reading out the mandatory questions.

"I was bored. There's nothing to do in this dump," Gary informed me.

"Well, don't do it again. Find more constructive things to do..." I looked at the clock, it had only been seven minutes. "Oh, look at the time! Our hour is up," I said, with fake optimism.

"There was no way, that was a hour," he said flatly, raising one eyebrow.

"It wasn't, I got important stuff to do," I replied, pretending to type something into the computer.

As he stood up he said, "While you're on Facebook, tell Mr Galloway, not to bother expecting any homework from me."

"Will do," I replied.


As soon as he left the room, my chatting online continued. Ah, the perks of this job.

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