Yes, I was actually going to marry him. I love the loser, sue me. Mum and Mrs Smith cried with joy when we told them, ecstatically happy that we would be one happy family. They both chipped in, and brought us the house next door to Mrs Smith, so they wouldn't have to go far to see the grandchildren when they were born.

So, naturally, me and Gary moved into it right away, to get away from all the wedding talk. We'll do it our frickin' way, and who gives a crap what anyone else thinks. I'd claimed the largest bedroom, and made Gary sleep in the spare bedroom. I informed him, that we won't be sharing a bed until after the wedding.

We were sat at the kitchen table, going through our plans for the wedding. As you can imagine, we ended up arguing.

"Where's the ceremony going to be?" he asked, as he checked some possible churches on the internet.

"Urr... the frickin' church here in Bullworth," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Why? We both hate it here, why should the wedding be there?" he asked, glancing over at me.

"Because, I frickin' said so!! If I have to wear a frickin' dress, we're getting married where I want!" I informed him, as I got up to make another cup of coffee.

Mum had brought us a espresso machine, so naturally, I was making good use of it. It was actually pretty good, well the black coffee that is. The front door opened, and someone yelled "Only me!" It was Anita, I'd given her a key to the house, because she's my BFF.

"Oh, joy," Gary said, rolling his eyes. Gary didn't get on with Anita very well.

"Hey! Chief bridesmaid, at your service," she joked. She already know what I wanted for the wedding, and already sorted it all out.

"Hey, Nita. Love the top," I said, looking at her new kimono like top.

"Thanks, it's genuine to. I got it on my gap year. Start up college again in september. You're so lucky you graduated already," Anita said, talking because she knew it bugged Gary.

I made her a cup of coffee, and placed it on the table in front of her. Gary was going through the list one more time, to make sure everything was in order.

"I think, we're done with the planning. Because, obviously, you're going to take my lastname," Gary said, assuming like a total loser.

I choked on my coffee. "Like hell, I am!" I informed him. "It's bad enough I'll have to sleep in the same bed as you, let alone take your lastname."

"So, let me get this straight. You decided where it's going to be, made all the plans, invited all the guests. The only thing I got to decide on, was my suit," he argued. He stood up, and starred right into my eyes. "You're taking my lastname."

He stormed out of the room, thinking that was the end of it. Well, it wasn't. We argued about it every time we were in the same room, for the next two weeks. When I'd finally had enough, and was about to kick him out the night before the wedding.

"You are the most uncompromising bitch, I've ever had the misfortune to meet!" he shouted across the room.

"Well you frickin' proposed to me!" I shouted, raising my hand to show off the ring. Cheap asshole, I know it wasn't expensive because I checked his credit card statement.

"Well, I'm not backing down!" he shouted at me.

"Neither am I!" I shouted back.

Anita walked into the room, holding a cup of coffee, and sat down on the couch. She'd been staying with us, the past fortnight, so she could attend the wedding. She'll be going back to San Andreas afterwards. She was used to our arguing, because we did argue a lot.

"Why don't you compromise?" she suggested. She then took a sip of her coffee.

"What kind of compromise?" Gary asked, probably talking to her directly for the first time since she started staying here.

"Cods, you want to keep your lastname, right?" Anita said, repeating what I had told her a million times already.

"Yeah, obviously," I snapped, because I was already pissed off.

"And, Gary, you want Cody to take your lastname, to act like a proper married couple, right?" Anita continued. She drank some more of her coffee.

Gary clapped, in a sarcastic way. "Very good, you have room in that empty head, to remember things" he snapped, sarcastically.

"Why not hyphenate? Be Mrs Cody Pepper-Smith," she said, matter of factly.

It seemed like a good idea to me, and judging by the look on Gary's face, he thought so to. Gary and I walked out of the living room, into the hallway.

"See you tomorrow," Gary said, picking up the overnight back he had packed.

"Later, Loser," I said, with a smile. I realised, that will be the last time I'll get to say it to him, before I'm stuck with him for life.

"See you, Skank," he replied, with a smirk.



The church was ready, all the guests were sitting waiting. Gary was stood at the alter waiting for me. Mum was going to give me away, because Dad frickin' vanished when I was a kid. I ain't got a frickin' clue where he is, and don't care. The music started, it was the usual wedding crapola, I rolled my eyes.

Anita walked down the isle first, she was my only bridesmaid. Mostly because I couldn't be arsed to pick someone else. She looked good in the dress I chose. I knew I wasn't going to be a bridezilla, and pick a ugly dress. She's like a sister to me, and I want her to find someone and be happy. She was wearing a long black flowy dress, with white gloves. She was wearing a matching headband to mine, with a orange flower on it. Her golden hair up and plaited. All of this went perfect, with the silver hoop earrings she always wore.

I then walked down the isle, next to Mum. She looked ecstatically happy, probably because she never thought I would get married. Well, I certainly proved her wrong. Mum burst into tears, when she took her seat at the front. I chose to ignore her, when I passed my bouquet to Anita.

The priest went through the usual crapfest, with all the religious stuff. I'll skip that part, because we all know what happens at a wedding. We finally got to the vows, we'd written our own. They were exactly how we felt about each other, but spoken in a way that only Gary and I could see the beauty of them.

"Loser," I said, reading out my vows. "From the moment I met you, I knew you were a total idiot. Then I got to know you, and that confirmed it. If someone told me back then, that I'd be marrying you one day, I would have probably knocked them out. The only thing that's changed, is how much I despise you." I paused for effect. I could see Mum shaking her head, with shock and disgust. "I despise you more, and promise that I always will."

"Skank," Gary said, reading out his own vows. "The sound of your voice, is like nails on a chalk board to me. You argue with everything I say, and I do the same to you. Eight years ago, if I thought for one second that I'd marry you, I probably would have upped the dosage on my meds. But, now I promise to show you just how much I hate you every single day."

We both smiled at each other happily, it was so good to express our feelings this way. Everyone in the church was gobsmacked, except Anita. The priest paused for a moment, before clearing his throat.

"If anyone knows of any reason why these to should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace," he said, looking out at the guests.

We waited a few seconds, it looked like no one was going to object. I smiled, and turned to face Gary again. Then the church doors opened.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.